PSA: I Can’t Pray My Anxiety Away

Yesterday I came across a photo an acquaintance posted on social media that said, “Anxiety is a signal alerting you that it’s time to pray.” I had an instant, visceral reaction to reading this – which made me pause and explore where that reaction was coming from. As I did so, I realized it was worth discussing here in a blog. 

I’ve had significant anxiety as long as I can remember (among other diagnoses, but that’s a blog for another day). Prior to having children, I felt I had a fairly good handle on managing my anxiety because – let’s be honest – my biggest responsibility was myself and I had ample amounts of time to focus on, nurture, and heal as needed. Becoming a mother heightened my anxiety, both because I had worries of greater magnitude than ever before and also because my bandwidth for self-management is far less. Add on to that Evan’s Type-1 diabetes diagnosis and impact of living in a constant state of fear and, well, you get the picture. 

I had some testing done in January of this year and in the report the psychologist noted, “Individuals who respond in a pattern similar to Sarah report symptoms of depression, anxiety, along with experiencing high levels of stress, worry, and irritability/anger. They feel overwhelmed and trapped by life’s stressors and may not be confident in their ability to deal with these stressors effectively. Feelings of general malaise and dissatisfaction with life circumstances are likely present. This may manifest in anger and irritability along with a feeling of being unable to and/or ineffective in attempts to make long-lasting changes to these circumstances. These individuals may also feel socially alienated and/or consciously or unconsciously socially isolate.”

Why am I sharing this? Well, first, to be clear that when I say struggle with mental health, I mean that in a real, well-documented sense. Secondly, I hope that for those unfamiliar with anxiety or other mental health struggles, reading that description will paint a picture of what this looks like in the words of a professional. Here’s why – it angers me when someone says, “if you’re feeling anxious, just pray!” It angers me because IT IS NOT THAT EASY. Saying that to someone struggling with mental health is dismissive, minimizes the gravity of the issues, and only serves to isolate those struggling even more. 

Let me be clear, I have a strong faith. I pray every day. And I do feel that prayer and my reliance on my faith is a tool in my toolbox of managing my mental health. But it is a tool among many others, including but not limited to Lexapro, daily exercise, therapy, cognitive restructuring, a psychiatrist, grounding and breathing, solitude, connection with loved ones, and having a creative outlet. No one tool from this toolbox, alone, can make my anxiety go away. In fact, none of these tools – even together – will make my anxiety go away. Because it is a part of who I am – a part of how GOD made me. These tools help me to manage it – to survive it, to understand it better, to love myself through it, and to sometimes channel it for good. 

I know that for those that have never struggled with mental health it can be difficult to understand. And I know that the person that posted this photo probably didn’t mean any harm by it. It isn’t the first time it has been suggested to me that “if you only love Jesus more, you’ll feel so much better.” But I wanted to write about this because battling mental health is hard, and it’s lonely. We’ve seen plenty of examples of how when people feel forced to keep all of this inside, to fight the fight alone, it can become too much to bear. It is important for us to break the stigma around mental health, to have a more open conversation about it, and to be cognizant of passing judgement on things we don’t understand. “Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so be kind.” And please understand that no amount of prayer alone will “fix” someone who is struggling with mental health.